Executive Producer: RAYMOND CHOW
Associate Producer: LEONARD HO
Line Producer: Eric Tsang
Director: SAMMO HUNG
Make way!
Take the stairs!
He's headed for the exit!
Hong Kong cops! Let's go!
Come on, this way!
Where'd he go?
The yellow car! Come on!
What are you doing? That's my car!
Damn it! Dead end! Back up!
Hang on!
Asshole!
Blocked in!
Are you crazy?
Hold on!
Hey careful!
That way!
Sorry! Hey, watch it!
Ricky! Down there!
Where's your ticket?
It's okay we're safe. They'll never find us now.
Smile everyone, say 'cheese'!
No, you don't!
Welcome to the house of horrors, enjoy the terror!
Could you take a picture of the two of us please?
Sure. Thank you.
One more!
But l... Let me take a picture of the two of you.
Cheese!
Gotta go! Thank you.
Welcome to the House of Terror, folks!
Come on in! It's terrifying!
Come on in, kids!
Ricky!
You're really something!
The pictures, boss.
Very good.
It shouldn't be difficult to find him.
Your diamonds are safe with us.
And should that Hong Kong cop get too close, then he's dead!
How am I going to save Ricky?
The ninja gang will recognize Hong Kong cops.
I've got to get outside help.
My orphanage buddies! They won't know them.
If I can get them together,
we might pull it off.
I'll call the superintendent in Hong Kong.
He should be able to arrange it.
Phone's ringing! Can't you hear it?
That phone rings all day and all night!
I'm important, people call me with information from all over the planet.
Hello? Hello? Si? Digame?
It might be the Bulgarian phone.
Maha? Maha? Maha?
Ja? Ja? Answer it yourself!
Si buon giorno?
Asalaamualaikum?
Ah! Japan! Moshi, moshi?
It's Muscles, sorry to call you so late.
We found him but there's been a small problem.
I want him back here.
He's protected by a ninja gang and they've taken Ricky hostage.
Don't worry, we'll get another agent out there to help you.
It won't work. They know everything there is to know about our operation.
So what do we do?
I want you to round up some old buddies of mine from the orphanage.
But they're all crooks!
Now look, we have to unload it right now, it's too risky.
What's our profit margin look like?
About three hundred percent.
Yes, get rid of it. We'll do better next time.
Boss! Those guys have been acting up again!
Who is it this time?
A Taiwanese girl.
Let me see her.
They can put her up starting on Monday, not before!
Right.
Give me back! That's mine!...
No!...He always gets it!
Boss! Check this girl out!
Is she clean?
Yeah, I think so. I got her from a magazine.
Good work, I'll take her.
Right.
Get back to work!
Yes, sir!
I want to see the men in No. 3 company.
Yes, sir!
71! Sir! 57! Sir!
63! Sir! Move!
Sir!
Sir, company 3.
Good. Now 61!
Yes, sir! Get back to work!
Yes, sir!
No. 61! Sir!
Come here!
Sir!
61, we're letting you go.
You are? Are you serious?
Are you sure about this?
I mean I'm happy to be leaving
but my sentence was supposed to be for 3 years. It's only been 5 months.
You're being paroled for good behavior.
Don't ask questions, now go!
Really?
I said don't ask questions!
But sir, I need to pack up my things.
I mean all my stuff. Can I get it before I go?
No. Here's some money.
I think it should hold you for a few weeks.
Now behave yourself!
And my friends over there, can I say goodbye?
You've got 30 seconds.
Thank you, sir.
They're letting me go.
If you want the smokes, they're hidden in the teapot.
There's beer under the bed.
Take care of the girls. Divide them up evenly.
I've got a playmate collection inside my mattress.
Take them if you want them.
Time's up! Let's go!
Yes, sir!
Sir, thank you. Good bye! Goodbye!
Cause I'm free as a little birdie now
I might as well go in style, the warden's car will do!
Don't move!
I thought it was my car.
Trying to escape?
What?
I got a job for you.
This is a set up!
Nothing to worry about.
All you've got to do is cooperate with me and you're free on parole.
Nice reward in it too.
Who do I have to maim for that?
Oh, nothing like that.
There's a man in Japan and we need you to bring him back.
But why me?
It's a sticky situation.
The crook we're after was once a Hong Kong cop.
He took a hundred million dollars in diamonds
and is being protected by a ninja gang who've already captured one of our boys
cause we have other agents, but they'd recognize any of our guys
so we need to use someone they've never seen before. Got it?
Now this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and I suggest you take it.
Hold on just a second!
This Japanese ninja gang sounds dangerous!
Yes, but I'm not giving you too much choice
as you just tried to break out of jail.
I can get you another 20 years.
Are you in or out?
I'm in. But I want to take my friends with me.
How you do it has got nothing to do with me.
Meet me again at this address.
You've got 24 hours, and not a second more!
I'm a little short on cash.
You don't say! Here.
You go get hold of your pals. I'll be waiting.
He'll never buy me that.
What was that?...
Stop him!...
Quite a robbery. I'm sure they'll catch the thief.
Quick, get in the car!
Talk about timing!
You've got 5 cavities.
Your gums are awful. It's a big job.
I'd say 3,000. That all? Try again!
5,000.00 Try again!
7, then.
You'll have to do much better. I'm not smiling!
How about $10,000?
All right. Deal!
Take it easy!
It'd be a pity if my hand slipped.
Come in!
Doctor. Mr. Chan the Millionaire is here and wants to see you right away.
Give me two more minutes.
A real millionaire! My lucky day!
No, he's not...
Hold still! I can't miss a millionaire.
And he'll be good for a damn sight more than ten grand!
But you don't... Shut your mouth! In the back! Move it!
Get in there!
Please don't hurt him!
Hurt him?
He'll be really lucky if I don't kill him! No, don't!
The doctor will see you shortly. Please honey...
Mr. Chan, please come in.
No!
Please!
Nice to see you again.
Oh, really? So you know me?
Not personally, but I believe every dentist worth his enamel should know a little bit
about the mouths of the rich and famous.
And do you know this mouth?
A little gum trouble.
Gum trouble? You prescribed treatment then.
Treatment...Yes, special treatment!
Quite a pleasure.
I suppose it's a pleasure you'd like to repeat again.
Oh, certainly!
That would be very foolish!
Not if she needed it.
That's my wife you've been fondling!
There's been a mistake. I'm not the Dentist!
Is this pantywaist your boyfriend?
Yes! Yes, that's him!
Darling, if you really love me then fight like the man you are!
I would fight for you but I don't know you!
You coward! I'm gonna knock your head off!
Get up!
No! Please honey! Don't hurt him, please!
Sit down! Freeze! CIA!
That's our man!
Me?
Yeah. It looks like we caught you red-handed.
Isn't that right? Yeah, that's right!
Cuff him!
You're going down!
Come on!
Nobody else move! The cops are on their way!
And if I'm elected, everyone will get a shiny new hoopla-hoop
and a bag of peanuts with every meal!
And clock radios that look like vegetables!
Who's that skinny dog you're walking?
He's not a dog. This is a goose!
I was talking to the goose, not you. Loony!
I will develop ESP...
You must concentrate. Listen to me, concentrate!
Lay an egg! Lay an egg! Lay an egg!
Skinny, if he's gone crazy, then why do you want him?
He's not crazy. Take a look around.
Free food, nice beds, nurses and happy pills!
There he is!
Sandy!
Look who it is! Any jobs for me?
Yeah, why else would I be here?
That's great! Happy days, yahoo!
Come on, let's go. I'm gonna be rich!
Here, have a goose.
But this doesn't have a head.
Wanna play cards?
Wanna play cards?!
You wanna play cards?! Sure. What time?
At what time?
At what time?!
At what time? Three o'clock.
Okay. You get the others.
Get the others.
Get the others!
Get the others!!
Get the others! Okay?!
Okay.
Where were you?
Why weren't you at your post? What?
Why weren't you at your post?!
Why weren't you at your post?!!
You're gonna make me deaf with that thing!
What are you doing?
I'm doing my work. What's it look like to you?
These things gotta be moved.
All right, break time!
I thought you two worked together. Why's teabag here?
His sister doesn't approve of the con business
so he pretends to work here.
Hey buddy, where's Teabag? Cafeteria.
Hurry up, we don't have much time! Come on!
All right! I win!
He hypnotizes the flies!
Hold on, there he is!
Yes! It's about time!
Man, this game is fi...
The gang! It's the gang! The gang's all here!
No time for that. We got a job.
Great! Have fun. I gotta run! Bye guys!
Hey, our money!
What was that game you were playing?
Spanish fly poker.
Hard to play? No.
Really?
Yeah, you deal the same number of cards to each person and then wait.
If the fly lands on you cards, you're the winner.
Now listen Skinny, no matter what this job is
or how sweet the payoff,
no way am I working with him.
He's about as smart as a bag of wet hair. Teabag may be a moron but he's our friend.
More than that he's a brother!
Tell him to play in heavy traffic.
I bet you he'd do it too.
Teabag! I've got a question. A favor to ask. It could be dangerous.
Sure. Don't you worry, I'll do anything.
I'll die for you, except steal. I won't steal. Anything else!
Jump into traffic?
Are you convinced now or what?
Once you master the art of ESP
you can control anything you put your mind to.
Sandy, you can't read when you're driving!
Now concentrate...
Turn left, turn left!...
Sandy, look out!
Close one!
what's wrong with you?
You idiot! Sorry. Sorry I got the wrong minibus!
What the hell's wrong with you, Sandy?!
Wait! Not right now, alright?
Skinny, take care of the truck driver.
We'll deal with the minibus.
Sorry.
What do we do now?
Don't worry, we just convince them we're tough
If we scare them, they won't mess with us.
Got it?... You got it?
Got it. Right!
It doesn't look too bad. They're lucky it wasn't worse.
If there's one thing you don't want to do, it's to make a mad dog like me angry.
Luckily I'm in a good mood.
On the other hand I could use some exercise Yeah, that's what I'll do!
You hit my car. What're you gonna do?
What?
Careful with your words, pal!
Tell me Jimmy, that guy who ran into the back of your car.
Whatever happened to that guy?
Him? He fell out of a window.
He doesn't do a whole lot these days,
at least he's walking again. His parents are pretty happy about that.
Bobby, that guy who scraped your car door, how is he?
Bad. He's gotta eat through a tube now.
And your guy?
He didn't make it.
He ended up at the university in 3 pieces. They put him in the anatomy lab.
Jack, tell me if somebody hit your car, what would you do to them?
Me? If someone damaged my car
I'd make him get down on his knees and apologize again and again
until he was hunched over and cowering like a scared weak pathetic dog!
You listening?
Just kidding. There's no need to bring your friends along.
Can't we work this all out between us?
Hey pal, I heard there was a problem.
Are these guys hassling you?
They are.
Hi! How're you doing, pal?
It's nice to see everybody here today.
We're like one extended family.
Now then, we've got ourselves a situation here
one wrong word and we get our asses kicked.
But that won't happen. They're all nice guys.
And we're all good friends here, right?
Let's get moving. We don't want to hold up the traffic now, do we?
Right. See you!
Bye!
Listen, friend, come on!
We should be able to resolve this peacefully.
That's right.
I'll bet you anything that you and your friends are from Chiu chow.
Correct!
And aren't Chiu chow people always loyal to each other?
That's right.
Look at me, I'm from Chiu chow as well.
And each of my friends is a Chiu chow too.
We all speak the same language.
I don't think so.
Listen brother, just let us drive off.
Never mind the damage. We'll forget about it.
Okay for you, but not okay for them.
But we're all brothers! We're all from Chiu chow!
They may look different. It's just the Hong Kong lifestyle.
They don't look like they come from Chiu chow.
Everybody looks different! Yeah, that's right!
Teabag! You show them!
Read our friends a verse and help put his mind at ease.
Yes.
Let's hear it!
Speak! Go on, say a couple of words.
SEVEN EREVEN.
Seven Eleven, I said!
What was that?
Now I'm sure you weren't trying to make fun of us, right?
You idiot!
This is no time for your warped sense of humor.
Seriously, give us a verse, quickly!
Enough of this crap, Chiu chow assholes!
Let me have him!...
Come on, let's go!
No!...
Run!...
You and your ESP! You almost got us all killed!
It wasn't me. It's this car, it's crap!
And so are you guys! You didn't back me up!
I did! Skinny's the coward here!
He just cowered right behind us. He didn't help at all!
I what? I did too!
I'm not the one who said Seven Ereven!
That nearly got us all killed!
Settle down up there!
We got out of there, didn't we?
That's right!
Shut up! You imbecile!
Seven eleven? What the hell were you thinking?
What was wrong with that?
You moron! Idiot! All right, stop it! Calm down!
Here's the address.
Imbecile!
Where is it? There! I just gave you the address.
I meant where are we going?
Don't know. Just get us there, we'll find out.
Skinny, what is this place?
I don't know.
This is the address the guy gave me.
Some setup.
Hope we don't have to hold up here for long.
Shouldn't worry you any.
You're used to crap holes.
The place may be condemned. But if you ask me it's better than jail.
And we've only seen the outside, the interior could be worse.
It's a fire hazard, we could be burned to death
Maybe people already have!
Probably full of ghosts, mean ones too, like the kind in the movies.
You finished?
I'm done.
Come on!
Bad spirits go away! Bad spirits go away...
Who'd have thought it from the outside! That's what I call camouflage.
I like the style.
A place like this would suit me.
It looks like the inside of a whorehouse. Suits you just fine.
Shut up!
Do me a favor? What?
I want to use you for my ESP experiment,
see if it works or not.
Sure, no problem!
Come on.
Yummy!
Skinny, we're all here now.
So you can tell us what this is all about Ok.
and tell us everything.
I want nothing left to the imagination.
Your imagination? That's a laugh!
Rawhide, remember the fights we had in the orphanage?
Sure, I remember them. I beat you up.
And you used to beg for mercy.
I haven't forgotten the beatings you gave.
You only won 'cause you fought dirty!
Try me now!
Okay, touch me.
You don't scare me. What are you gonna do?
So you wanna play then?
You wanna play with me?
But you play with yourself.
Knock it off, there's no time for fighting!
Quiet!
Stay out of this!
If it's a fight he wants, then he'll get it!
Do that again! Like that?
Touch me again and you're gonna pay for it!
I won't warn you again!
I bet you will!
This is your last chance!
Or you'll what?
Or I'll do something you'll remember!
Like what? Run away?
You can't talk to me like that!
Oh, yeah? I just did!
Make them stop fighting!...
What do you want?
Don't do that! It's creepy! I thought your face was gonna explode.
I was helping them!
I'll make your stomach explode!
Look!
What's the matter? What's he doing to you?
Me first!
There's a... It's you!
I'm sorry to surprise you. I've got the shits!
Dear god! Wait! How many toilets in here?
There're five altogether...
Well, four. I've got this one.
Where's the longest grass here?
Is it to the left or to the right?
Right at the back door. Okay!
No grapes.
Feeling better, boys?
Who are you?
Me?
Well, guys, a cop.
He's the police inspector who arrested me.
That was ages ago.
Not now, I'm now the senior superintendent.
The name's Tsao. But you can call me Walter.
What is this? Did you set us up?
No no no, it's not what you think...
No! No!
He didn't set you up. I blackmailed him.
You see?
That's his business, don't pull us into it. We're out of here!
Okay.
Don't go just yet. Turn on the television.
I think you'll find the news interesting.
What's going on? I don't know.
Two more minutes and it's cooked.
Instant pork chop. It's easy, girls!
Good evening. This is a special news bulletin.
Earlier today five men and a woman robbed the main branch Harvest Bank
in Tsim Sha Tsui. They stole over $20 million in thousand dollar bills
and managed to escape on foot.
We now take you live to our reporter standing by.
Do you have any clues as to the identity of these gangsters?
On the basis of strong evidence, we believe we know exactly who these perpetrators are.
We can't release their names,
but we can tell you the nicknames they go by.
The first is Rawhide.
Sandy, Skinny,
then there's a Turbo and Teabag, and Baby. Thank you.
That's the end of our news flash.
I didn't do it!
Really, I swear to you, I didn't do it!
Wait! Stop your panicking.
I'm the one behind that news bulletin.
As of now you're all wanted men.
You're on the run.
But only I know where your hideout is.
Nobody else's got a clue about it.
No one else?
Not a soul. This is a top secret mission.
The governor knows about it.
And some high ranking policemen.
But even they don't know where you are.
It's secret?
That's right, secret. I give you guys my word.
Boys, let's play a game.
Since nobody else knows he's here,
we can play a little five on one.
Doesn't that sound like fun to you?
We get to pound him into a pulp, right?
Right!
Get him!...
Hey hold it, boys! The police!...
Luckily your reputation for violence precedes you.
So I brought along a little backup.
Now, still want to screw around?
or have you kids had enough yet? Well?!
Enough.
Good. It's over. Right, you can go.
Yes, sir! Move out!
You're all intelligent.
So you realize what a difficult position you're in.
But I'm on your side don't worry.
I'm giving you my top assistant.
You'll be in good hands.
No, thanks. We'll do this ourselves.
You got it. We can never let ourselves be seen with a cop.
They'll say we're informers.
I'm sorry, I won't do it.
You're nothing but bad news.
I'll never trust a cop. Forget it!
I'm with him.
Hi, hello!...Can I help you?
I'm Walter Tsao's assistant.
Glad you could make it!
Can I take your bag? Come in.
Thank you.
Hello, sir.
Miss Woo. I've got bad news for you...
You're finally here! We were hoping you wouldn't arrive too much later.
We want to get on with the planning!
Hello, there!
Welcome!...
We all welcome you. Please sit down.
Please.
Have a seat.
Excuse me. Please!
Unfortunately I have to leave now.
But please don't worry too much,
Miss Woo will fill in the details.
Right, thanks.
Miss Woo?
Will you guys show Walter out please?
It's okay. I can show myself out, thanks.
Miss Woo, can we speak?
Please!
You just follow their lead.
I know.
All right, good luck to you all.
Yeah, we'll see you around.
Bye!
Bye bye!
Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Miss Woo.
Special Operations, Hong Kong Police Force.
You may call me Inspector.
I've been given an alias for this case.
You may need to use it from time to time.
The name I've been given is Baby.
So this is Baby!
It all fits together.
Hi there, Baby!
Who's there?
What is it?
Did you hear that?
Hear what?
I saw a shadow, could be an intruder.
You haven't seen anything...
No, I haven't!
Stop this ridiculous charade! Out!
Right. Sleep well.
Don't move! Stay where you are!
What is this?
Stop staring at me or I'll kill you and cut you up!
What now?
Don't move an inch! Tie them up!
Right. Get up! Move it!
Move it! Move!
Don't fight back, these guys are killers!
Make sure it's tight!
Don't speak or you'll die,
and we'll cut you up!
Come on!
Quick!
Look in there!
Don't be afraid now, this will all be over soon, I promise.
I'll keep you safe until these bandits leave.
I promise you, okay?
Sandy, it's your turn. Come on!
Go on, get in there!
Great Scott! What happened here?
Some guys broke in.
What? And tied you up?
Why that's terrible!
It's okay. I'll untie you.
All right, Sandy, you stay with Baby.
I'll go and call the cops!
Don't worry, I'm here so you're safe.
Hold it! Stay where you are!
Stay back! I'm warning you I'll kill you both!
Now get out!
Shut up!
Hey boss, what now?
Tie them up!
Okay!
No talking or we'll cut you up!
Search the place!
Look in there!
Nothing here.
Let's go!
Let's go, come on!
Since we're stuck here,
maybe you'd like to dance?
No, I don't want to dance!
What happened?
Robbers. Buzz off!
Untie us, would you?
Okay.
Stay here. Protect her.
One more!
Get back here!
Idiot! Get changed!
Hurry up, quick!..
Hold it!
Not again!
What do you want?
We don't want your body, sweetie.
Don't worry. Move it!
Idiot! Now get your fat ass over there!
Come on, move it!
Get him off! He's crushing me!
Fatso, what're you doing to her?
Nothing!
Come on! Let's go!
I'm sorry, try and roll over.
Oh, my god! What happened to you?
Robbers!
Oh, no! Not again!
You stay here with her. I'll get the cops!
Go! Go!
Hurry, come on! Okay!
Stay where you are!
What? Oh, my god!
Now what?
Tie them up!
Right!
Help! Helppp...
It's about time!
Helpppp...
What's this? What happened?
Don't worry, everything's under control. It's okay.
You look like robbery victims to me.
It's okay now. I'll just untie you both.
Stay still now. Here you go!
Thanks. It's okay.
Let's call the cops!
You imbecile, who'll look after her?
Go!
Move it!
Now, I'm going to go and check the other rooms
in case the robbers are still here.
You scream loudly if you see anything.
I'll come straight back here and rescue you.
Don't move or you're dead!
Yeah, that's right. Don't move!
Is this a joke?
You're not gonna hurt us!?
Coffee ground! Tie them up!
Yes sir. But last time I came
the man was much too fat,
it made things difficult. This time
I thought we'd tie them up separately!
Separately?
Don't you think?
Good! Come on!
What? Not fair! Not fair!
You can't do that!
Every single one of you idiots got to be tied up with her, why not me?
And this idiot had to screw everything up! It's not me!
Don't think you can hide under that!
Sorry about that, but this wasn't my idea.
Sorry, we were just having fun.
No more, no more!
All of you get out!
Get out!
Bye now.
Next time don't be so selfish!
Okay then, bedtime!
Get out!
Too bad! Too bad!
All right, bedtime.
Sorry, we couldn't resist!
Forgive us, it's just a joke.
Oh, it's fun!
Japan Airlines Flight 879 to Tokyo now boarding.
Japan Airlines flight 879 to Tokyo
all passengers to gate 8.
Since I'm dressed up like this,
think they'll give me a plane to fly?
Fat chance, but girls love it.
What? They do?
Go ask her.
Does this outfit turn you on?
Nice one! That was smooth talking!
Shut up!
I'll get you for that!
Take it easy!
See what you started?
Look at those idiots! Now move it!
Calm down! Relax!
You boys wait here. I'll go and check-in.
I gotta find the john I'm about to piss myself
I'm thirsty, better get some water.
I'd better check out the chicks.
I'll... Not a chance! You stay!
Excuse me, sir. You've made a small mistake.
This is not a hand towel.
You're drying your hands with my fax paper.
We'll have more put in the bathroom, sir.
Sorry, I didn't bring my glasses with me.
Excuse me!
Wait here. I won't be a second.
Watch it! Where are your glasses?
Oh and your eyes are perfect?
They always get regular exercise.
Bet it's all the exercise you get.
That Japanese girl's cute!
How'd you know she's Japanese?
You think I'm color blind as well?
Room 2718.
Teabag.
What'd you lose? Your brain?
I lost a hundred Yen outside
You lost it outside but you're looking in here that's great!
It's too dark out there.
It's bright in here, much easier to see.
Good luck searching. We'll see you tomorrow.
Forget about it. You'll never find it!
500! That's 400 profit!
That's mine, idiot! Yours is outside.
Come on, let's go up.
All right! Idiot!
The penthouse!
How high are we?
Jump out and see.
No, it's too high.
I'm not happy about this,
but the hotel's full tonight.
So I've got to share with you guys.
Great!
Then we can play a few more games!
You can play as many games as you want to,
just make sure I'm not involved.
I'll help you.
That's nice, you've got two beds in here.
Couldn't you... What?
Let us have the spare?
Yeah!
Yes, one of you can take the spare bed.
Wait!...Let's think about this!
Come on let's go outside!
We'll just go outside and talk this over.
Sorry to disturb you. Move! Come on!
Listen, I think of us as a family.
I'm the oldest one among you.
My time's coming to an end.
My hair's going grey, my eyes are dim.
There's so little pleasure left.
Teabag, I can have that bed, can't l?
Baa!
What? What's that?
I understand. It's how a sheep says 'no'.
Is that so? Try that again!
Baa baa baa!
You've always treated me like a kid.
You're older than us, but so what?
I don't see why I shouldn't get it!
Fine. We'll decide just like we used to.
Good!
As I was walking past your house
you threw a chamber pot at a mouse
all of the water landed on my clothes
and I had to wash them for months and months and months
ever since that day we've been good chums
even though I smell like your family's bums
loo la la loo la loo la loo la loo
Loo la loo la loo la loo la loo la loo
Loo la la loo la loo la loo la loo
Loo la loo la loo la loo
Loo la la loo la loo la loo
What's so funny?
You sitting there pretending to know Japanese.
You read it then!
I can't bear the thought of her lying there on her own!
Stop it! If she feels lonely, she can choose whoever she wants!
Well, I ain't waiting! We'll all go!
Yeah, great idea!
Right!
Control yourselves!
Keep out of this!
I won't let you!
Lock your door Baby, they're coming for you!
You creep! You stay away from her y'hear me?
You're worse than a dog, man!
How could you think of raping her?
You should see a doctor, man!
Yeah!
You're sick!
I'm sorry about that.
Sometimes my bad temper gets the better of me.
I don't blame you but you must control it.
Oh my, it hurts!
Close your eyes and relax.
But I won't see you.
I'll still be around when you open them again.
But... Don't argue!
What the hell are you doing? Get off me!
Be quiet!
Spoiled brat, your fun's over!
There's another mattress, let's take it!
Then get to work.
You know this guy, right?
That's Muscles.
Yes, Muscles. This guy's our contact in Tokyo.
What do you think you're doing?
That's it, lady. I officially quit.
Muscles is a curse! He's a disaster!
From now on, count me out!
Don't go. Please help us.
The ninja gang captured his partner.
Don't drag me into this.
I got my reasons for not helping him.
As young kids, we were just like brothers.
Nobody could split us up. We were like that.
Things changed. Sure we had good times,
But he became a cop.
I saved his skin many a time, believe me.
I trusted the guy. I even told him about this racket I was setting up.
And he stitched me up, the louse!
He ratted on me and I got 3 years.
And now you're asking me to help him?
But that's in the past!
I can tell you're very forgiving.
Look in my eyes. Can you read my mind?
It's too dark.
Come closer.
You see?
All I can see is me.
That's exactly what I'm thinking about.
You're a hero, Skinny.
The only problem is that you haven't done anything heroic for awhile.
But I will.
I know. I can feel it.
It's so exciting. Your strength and sweet nature will win in the end.
Skinny, I can't wait!
You're beauti... Please don't interrupt!
I see the future in your eyes.
It's very clear you mustn't run.
You'll be a hero as soon as the ninja gang is wiped out.
Let's go!
Let's try that again!
This way, come on!
This is it.
Muscles?
You gorilla!
All right, you're gonna talk Fatso!
What are you doing in Japan?
Shopping.
Get up!
Where's the Hong Kong cop?
I wish I knew.
We've got to fight them!
Just the two of us?
Make it three! I'm with you!
Yeah right, Muscles, pull the other leg!
That's the guy!
Tea time!
So how're you doing, Skinny?
I'm all right. Worse for seeing you.
Thanks for coming.
Cut the bullshit! If I'd have known you were..
Can't you leave the past behind for once?
We've got a job to do.
Starting right now!
There's 20 million. Take it.
You're too kind. You keep it!
We'll use it as bait.
Please, sir.
Welcome, sir. Thanks.
So then, you find our two lovebirds?
I even checked the toilets. They're gone!
I'm sure they'll find us. Come on let's eat.
Waiter!
Suh! Wuht can I gat you?
Some milk and ham and eggs.
So solly, suh?
He doesn't speak our lingo.
Right.
That's milk. You got that? Good.
Now ham.
Smoke, ham, smoke, ham. Got that?
Sizzle!
Veely good, suh! Okay.
Wur I gat you, suh?
Me? coffee.
Coffee! Co - fee!
And spaghetti.
Sauce.. garlic..
very long..
that's spaghetti!
And for you, suh?
A club sandwich.
Sand wedgie?
A nice - club - sandwich!
A con sand wedgie?
Some bread, and butter,
an egg, some ham..
some more bread.. more butter..
another egg.
Tomato, lettuce, and mayo.
Bread for the top.
Look at that, there's your club sandwich!
It's easy!
Tank you suh.. for you?
Same here!
No, you don't! Order for yourself.
Come on, you have to get something different.
Something juicy.
Something juicy?
Yeah. You squeeze it...
Juice! Okay? And a sausage.
A sausage? You'd better explain it.
I see!
You know the Japanese for sausage?
Of course not! I showed him mine.
Very good! This is a club sandwich.
This gambling dive is run by the ninja gang.
They've gotta think we were the gangsters that robbed the bank in Hong Kong, right?
We want them to contact us.
But they've gotta believe we're loaded.
So throw your money around, okay?
Come on!
Place your bets! Odds or evens?
This way. Come on!...
Yeah!
We don't have much room left.
Yeah, you sure crowd them in.
Looks like we're gonna have to come back later.
I can help you, sir.
What the hell...
Here, make some room for us.
Right.
Get up, get up, please!
Move aside. Move down a little bit, please.
Yes, make some room.
Please sit down. Thanks.
Look guys! Sandy, Rawhide,
Turbo, Skinny and you Teabag,
we play this in Hong Kong!
Pipe down, Baby!
Don't go shouting our names in public!
Yeah!
Your bets!
Your bets
Look, there's a hole!
What can you see?
Looks like odds.
You're crazy!
You can't see that, not from here!
Look at that!...All that money!
All down!
Odds wins!
See, told you!
Your bets!
Get your money out!
Let's see you bet. You've got plenty there!
What should I play?
Three and six, it's odd.
Are you sure?
Odds wins!
You would have won too!
Bad luck, Sandy. Good job, Skinny.
Play again! Plenty more where that came from.
Now what about you, Turbo?
Should have bet.
Please excuse me.
Wait! Don't go! It's okay,
we'll give you back the money you just lost.
It's not ours, it's the bank's!
Cut the bullshit, would you?
We've got enough here to start our own whorehouse!
I'll be right back. I'll take over.
Bets please, gentlemen!
Hello? That you, boss?
We've got six Hong Kong clients with us now.
Their names sound just like those guys who did that bank job.
Yeah, they've obviously
got a whole lot of money to throw around.
So how do you suggest we can hold them here?
It's the cops! Clear the decks!
Get out! Get out!...
Come on! Move it!...
Get out of my way!...
Quick, come this way! We'll hide you!
That way!
Thank you very much.
Drink. My respects.
Your bank raid in Hong Kong, a superb job.
I congratulate you.
You'll have to lie low for a while.
My ninja clan will give you 24 hour protection.
Please stay a while. Enjoy yourselves.
So you'll stay?
Hold on!
I don't know. I'm kind of bored.
The singing's nice,
but I want a little more action.
That's right, we were expecting something
a little more, should we say stimulating?
Cut it out! We should go.
Don't be stupid, we can't.
We need their protection.
I'm glad we understand each other.
While you're here you won't lack entertainment
This is more like it.
No, please, get up...
Thank you sir. It's very kind of you to be so hospitable to us.
While I appreciate that we're entirely in your hands now,
I shall remind my friends that we should take care of business before pleasure.
So if you don't mind, l' m hungry. Can we eat?
Just as you wish. You're my guests.
Wait!
There's no hurry, they're such beautiful girls
Remember the old saying?
When you're in Rome do as the Romans do!
I agree. My girl's really open-minded.
She knows I think about her even though I might be holding someone else.
Yeah! Besides we can't refuse,
we don't want to be impolite, right?
Don't be jealous. We love you too!
Say it, add your 2 cents!
Boys will be boys. What can I say?
Please enjoy yourselves. Don't be shy.
Yes...
Hi!
Know them?
None of the others. But I know the fat guy.
He's with Muscles. This is some kind of setup.
We'll fix them.
Teabag, sit here!
Why?
Don't argue with your big brother. Move!
Go on!
Excuse me, gentlemen.
I hate to interrupt your fun,
but as you know everything has a price.
And to protect you, we need money.
So tell me, who's going to get it?
It's not my line. I'm not an accountant.
Let Turbo do it.
Come on I'm scoring here. What about Sandy?
No way, my nerves are bad. Teabag will do it!
You gotta be kidding! My name's Teabag, just think how badly I'd screw up!
Hold it! Don't worry.
You really want to see our money?
Right now. I'll go.
Bring it to the fair. 20 million.
Baby, make sure these guys behave.
Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on them.
Just go! Stop your fussing!
Get moving! And don't screw it up!
Stay cool!
You're the hothead! 'I'm scoring here'!
Lots of luck, Teabag!
We'll be waiting.
Wait!
Don't screw up!
Tomorrow morning, the haunted house.
Where's that number?
34160...
Hello? Yes?
Skinny? Who's that?
It's Muscles. What's happening?
They're holding the gang.
They want 20 million ransom.
How about we break their heads instead?
Good idea, really helpful!
I'll be there in a sec.
Make it quick.
That's hilarious!
You did tell me to make it quick.
Here it is.
That sure doesn't look like 20 million to me.
I didn't know how much they'd want.
Wait, what happens to me?
I'm the delivery boy!
You won't be alone. I'll be right behind you.
So where have you arranged to meet them?
Tomorrow morning at the fair,
near the haunted house.
Lots of people around there.
It won't be easy to keep track of you.
All right, take this with you.
When they contact you, I'll get your signal.
Don't forget.
Just flick it. Be sure to use it!
Try it.
What's wrong, Skinny? Out of cigarettes?
Remember Skinny,
keep your head on straight in there.
Call us whenever you need us.
Nice hat!
You! This way!
Gotta go, kiddies!
Welcome to the haunted house, kids!
let's have your tickets, please...
Don't get too scared now. This way, kids!
That's right. Let's have your tickets...
Come on! He's so cute!...
Let me touch his hair!...
I want to touch his hair!...
Right this way, kids!
Bye!
Good stuff!
Okay, that's it. The house is full.
Close it up!
You don't scare me, ugly!
Oh my! Such pretty lanterns everywhere!
There're big ones and little round ones!
Oh, that was scary!
It's a fake!
You want a piece of me?
He means it!
Enough of this thing!
Where's my buddies?
The robbery in Hong Kong was a fake.
We know it was a cover up.
You're in a lot of trouble!
Not as much as you!
You've crossed me twice.
You mustn't think much of my intelligence.
Kenji! Sir!
Take this to the top of Mount Fuji.
There you will smoke as many cigarettes as you want.
It's not worth taking. I never refill it.
Really?
Idiot!
Kenji, you halfwit!
You've just revealed to the cops the best hideout we've got!
Get out! Go to Mount Fuji!
Except this time Kenji, you jump off the top
and save your honor!
Yes, boss!
Take him away, boys!
Right, boss!
Start packing. Sir!
Skinny!
You missed a great time.
Yeah, the massage was wonderful!
Baby!
Where are you keeping him?
Talk fast, you punk!
Not my fault, he fainted!
Hello. Goodbye!
Stay down! Stay down!...
Don't hit me! Don't hit me...
Don't hit me!!
Protect me, big brother! Don't be scared!
Stay still, I won't let them touch you!
You all right?
That's - my - big - brother!
Teabag! It's okay, it's okay!
Are you hurt? I'm great. See that? Hercules!
And this guy thought he could lock us up!
He's gonna pay!
We should punch him! punch him
punch him!
Come on, get up!
What just happened there?
Someone put a fence there!
Ricky! Open the gate!
I can handle her!
Baby!
She's really tough!
That's a nice sweater, where'd you get it?
My mother made it for me!
Oh, shit!
Run, quick!
There they are!
Run! We're surrounded by cops!
Come on, we gotta get out of here! But we're cops! You're one of us!
Yeah?
Put him in the car...
Let's go! Move it!...
In you go!...
Thank you. You really helped us.
Save it. Just stay away from me, okay?
Get a car for them.
Don't bother. We don't much like cop cars.
Sorry!
Teabag, you did first class!
It was nothing. It was fantastic!
As I was walking past your house
you threw a chamber pot at a mouse
all of the water landed on my clothes
and I had to wash them for months and months and months
ever since that day we've been good chums
even though I smell like your family's bums
Loo la la loo la loo la loo la loo
Loo la loo la loo la loo la loo la loo
Loo la la loo la loo la loo la loo
Loo la loo la loo la loo HEY HEY!